Monday, 16 February 2015

Happy 1st Birthday

I can't quite believe I'm saying this but the day has been and gone and my little man is one. What a phenomenal, draining weekend. 

Kicking off on Friday (the actual birthday... Friday the 13th lucky for some!!) with a trip into London to see the fishies at the London Aquarium followed by a spot of lunch with the hubs, then rushing home for bath and bed before an evening of party prep!!

Continuing into Saturday with the big p-a-r-t-y! The hubs was amazing, off he went first thing in the morning armed with a list of necessary last minute items I needed to make the Mickey Mouse themed party a total success, whilst I was busy entertaining the birthday boy and prepping all the food... all the food...

I've never been one to under-cater and I'm a great believer in stuffing adults full of treats at these parties (particularly dads to make them bearable!) 

I was particularly proud of myself of this... not bad considering I'm not at all crafty!!

For the kids, I transformed my lounger into a soft play haven complete with giant ball pond and life size Mickey Mouse!!

The party was a roaring success... with over 50 guests in attendance (17 of them babies) the house was heaving but at know time (I believe thanks to the buffet) felt too crowded. Most importantly, my little man had the greatest day EVER! He was so happy and so content watching everyone busy around him, he was full of energy right up until bedtime when he literally past out in his cot.

The highlight of the day was the singing Happy Birthday. To think, all those people were there, singing to my little boy who suddenly feels so grown up.

What a very special day it was, I will remember it forever. My little man is one!!! I can't quite believe it!!!

Tuesday, 3 February 2015


I know I keep blubbing on about how emotional I feel about my boy nearly turning one. But the year just seems to have flown by so fast. So much has changed. I've changed, my husband has changed, our marriage has changed, my friendships have changed, even my parents have changed.

Everything has been altered by this one little man. 

Let's kick off with my parents. 

We've always been an incredibly tight knit family. Speaking on the phone half a dozen times a day, relying on each other for everything and generally behaving more like close friends than family. My mum, never really a baby person before, has surprised me the most. She is so honestly in love with my son, so caring, so considerate, so thoughtful, so wonderful. She helps me constantly and I've never ever felt so close to her. It's not even that I need her, we are so different, have different approaches to parenting and so on, but I want to be with her all the time. I love hanging out with her now. Something than seems to grow and grow as the weeks go by.

My father, to say that he loves my son seems inadequate. He is moved by him on a daily basis. He misses him seconds after leaving him, he calls constantly to check on us all (the hubs included) making sure we have everything we need, and that H is ok. He is so proud of me and how I am raising H, that he doesn't permit me a moment to wonder if I am doing the right thing. He is absolutely and 100% behind us as a family and I know how rare and special that is. We talk all the time, I vent, I moan, I laugh, the lot. Thankfully, he's always to hear it.

My friends. Well this is a funny one. Over the last year a lot has changed. My "old" friends, if I am honest seem completely disinterested in me. I am sure in time these friendships will re-form, or not, and I know it isn't all there fault. I am different, I am harder work in terms of arrangements and probably a little less "fun" (bare in mind that most of my friends are just on the cusp of marriage or still young, free and single). There are times when I feel a bit sad, a bit lonely, like I am so out of the loop with so many people. I do try and stay in touch with people but it just seems so hard. Conversations with newer "mummy" friends seem so much easier and natural. This makes me sad but I think it is something a lot of women sadly go through... maybe in the future when they are more where I am, things will change and friendships will re-form, for the moment though, I don't think there is much I can do fix it... one of those things perhaps?

The hubs and our marriage. Well, to say things are different now is perhaps a bit of an understatement. I love my husband, more now than I ever have. He means so much more to me than just being my husband, he is a father, and an amazing one at that. He is my partner and whilst we don't agree o n everything, we appreciate more than ever how to use our own skills to best manage. He is better at cheering H up when he is in pain, at chilling him out, at bath time and so on. I am better at the more mundane tasks. Feeding, soothing and so on. We talk a lot about our son, and our future home and family and have what I call "grown up conversations" a lot more. It might be a but calmer (more boring) than what we used to do/talk about but we are happy and wouldn't (I think) change a thing.

Me? What can I say. I am an entirely different being to what I was before. I am calmer, I am more selfless, I am forever positive and I am patient. These are not words I would have previously used to describe myself. I also no longer sweat the small stuff. Things that bothered me before seem so silly and irrelevant. I am true to myself and put my husband and my son before ANYTHING. They are my world and if that means regular date nights, and obsessive over planning well so be it. I have to look after my boys.

This year has been so very special. I can't really put it into words. All I can say is that it has been the quickest, but more memorable year yet. I remember every day, every moment, every smile, every tear. That boy has deeply changed me, I hope for the better and whilst there may have been a few hiccups and friendship causalities along the way, it's been so unbelievably remarkable.

To conclude, I'd like to share this video with you. It's a campaign from Pampers in Japan, but it really sums things up. Feb 13th is not just Harry's birthday, it's my first "mummy birthday". To all those mums out there about to celebrate there little ones first birthday's, take a moment to wish yourself a happy birthday. You've done so well and I for one know what an emotionally incredibly journey it has been.

Monday, 19 January 2015

Turning one

In a matter of weeks my little boy will turn one. I've heard people murmur the phrase "l don't know where the time has gone" in the past, and have grimaced at how cliche they sound. I now can entirely relate.

I can't really relate to those who claim to not remember life before the arrival of heir beautiful bundles of joy. I of course remember life, I just don't like it very much!!

This year has been the best, fastest, most memorable, spectacular, exhausting, emotional year of my life. Despite its speed, I literally remember every second. Which is confusing to me. Usually when something flies by I struggle to remember the detail, it's all sort of a blur. Not this year.

 I have a (documented through photographs) memory of every single day. It really has been so very special. It's amazing to me really that so many people get to experience this, it makes me question why the world isn't a happier place?? I've spent the last year of my life elated. 

I've made some incredible friends, lost a few less incredible friends. Made a life, cemented what was already an amazing relationship with the hubs, felt more tired that I knew possible, spent a LOT of time in my house and obsessed over the following... (to name a few)

- Poo
- Wee
- Vomit
- Weaning
- Teething
- Smiling
- Rolling over 
- Sitting up
- Walking
- Cruising
- Waking
- Baby classes
- Prams
- Car seats
- Nappies
- Nappy bags
- Breast feeding
- Formula feeding
- Bottles
- Sterilisers
- Water
- Blankets
- Working

It's been mad. Unbelievable. Mad.

I can't believe he's going to be one. It's so significant to me which is a bit surprising. I guess from one they start to become a bit more independent. Of course he'll need me for the foreseeable future but he's not a "baby" anymore.

What a year. I can't believe it's coming to a close... As the plans for his first party continue I'm gonna enjoy my boy. Every little second as I have done for the last 11+ months. I don't think any other year in my life will be quite as special or significant.

Friday, 12 December 2014

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth....

My darling boy, is still very much toothless... now this is of course fine but I am getting to the point where I am bored of calling every bad night, cold, cough, rosy cheek teething. I know for a fact that this isn't just me... all us first time mums are guilty of blaming every little thing on teething!

This has been going on for months and I think I just have to assume that it's going to take some time (much like the growth of his hair!)
Of course it doesn't matter that all his pals have teeth, but it is a little frustrating on my part. Teething seems to be going on for months and months and we don't even have the white gums that people speak of. 

I remember when we went on our first family holiday, Harry was 4 months old and after one rough night and a slightly pink cheek we ran out to the local pharmacy to buy every teething product going. 

Wanna know what I now know that I wish I knew then? Babies (in most cases) don't teeth at four months... we all think it's teething but it's not. We all read so much about every little stage that we wait with anticipation for them to arrive and convince ourselves that we are experiencing them we know deep down that we are not.

All that being said, I really want these first few teeth to show up. I am bored of waiting and more importantly know he is in pain. I suppose I know now why that song was written... "all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!" Nothing I'd like more at this stage! Bring those little buggers on!!

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Mind your own business!!

First it's "when are you getting engaged? ", then it's "when will you have a baby?", then it's "thinking about number two yet?"

I don't blame people, they are natural questions and often just conversation fillers but I can't help but get a tad frustrated.

Firstly there is the obvious issue, what if we were trying (we're not) and we were having problems. Secondly there is the reality of the situation. Harry is not yet nine months. I am still getting to gripes with him and the immense life change I've encountered. 

Don't get me wrong, conversations are starting to be had between the hubs and I but surely that is where the discussion should start and end? It's nobody's business and I just can't  deal with anyone else asking me!!

The other day I turned round in an angry tone and answered (not true) "we are stopping at one, just so happy as we are" I know it's childish it's just my coping mechanism.

In a previous blog post I ranted about my anger at people asking me "if my baby was ok?" due to the smallness of my bump... I talked about my friend who was asked throughout her pregnancy if she was having twins (obviously she wasn't)

Is it me, or do people need to mind there own business and stop overstepping the mark/putting pressure on us poor folk?! 

I think yes. I've just had enough of it. Anyone else with me??

Monday, 27 October 2014

Back to life, back to reality.

After 11 months of leisure (well not quite), this week I officially return back to the working world. 

Don't get me wrong, I am not going back full time, or in fact returning to my former place of work. I am joining a fresh new company, on a freelance basis, and in truth I could not be more excited.

It's interesting that my blogging has fallen to the bottom of my to do list the last few months, this makes me sadder I am sure than it makes you. In truth, I ran out of things to say, something I never could imagine possible.  At one stage I was blasting out three posts a day!

Harry has been as happy as Larry (thank goodness), his sleep is fine, bar a few nights here and there, his eating is good and his development generally is normal. I spend my days at various classes, sipping coffee with friends, cooking, cleaning, reading, and most importantly playing with my 8.5 month old little man. 

I have a great life, but it isn't exactly "newsworthy". I know that I am boring now. I am ok with that. 

I knew it the first time I met up with one of my very best friends, alone (Harry was with the hubs). After a few minutes of me updating her on Harry's development, followed by a few more minutes of video footage to back up what I'd told her (I am sure she was thrilled), she asked... "so what else?" At this point I went blank...

"What else?"

"There isn't anything else?!"

The reason for my lacklustre blogging performance of late isn't that I am too busy... come on... post 7pm I have plenty of time and it's not like I can go anywhere... the reason is that I am boring and have nothing to say!

Since sorting out this new job, I have found my voice again. I feel I have something to say. Please don't think me a terrible person, I love being a Mummy and wouldn't change it for the world. But a few hours here and there talking about other things has done me the world of good and for the first time in a while I feel like the old me. I feel like I am more than just Harry's mum and it feels good. No, it feels great.

I am by no means ready for full time employment, I just couldn't do that at this stage, but I feel blessed to have the best of both worlds. I feel confident and happy and like I bring more to the table than my gorgeous son. 

And hey, if nothing else, it's got me blogging again!

Saturday, 9 August 2014

How time flies

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but next week my little boy will be 6 months old... 6 months, half a year... The thought of it actually terrifies me, he is getting so big and independent (baby independent, mums/dads... you get me) and it is scary, very scary.

Not only is he now able to roll... not quite crawl but certainly "shuffle" but he can hold things, take things and the biggest of them all? He now eats 3 square meals a day (plus snacks and 4 bottles.... all I do is feed!!) Each night, I venture to my freezer where dozens of zip lock bags are labelled accordingly. I take my little pots and pick and choose what combination of food and veg my wee man will be tucking into the following day. It's like going to a sweetie shop and has become a little highlight of my day (yes I can imagine that I sounds very sad!)

Next week things get even more scary as we can experiment with gluten, citrus fruits, eggs (well cooked of course), fish (no shellfish), chicken and meat! I am beyond excited for this new stage but also a little terrifying, before I know it he'll be chowing down on proper solids and walking around (watching him hold and chew a rusk brought me to tears!)

Time really does fly.. I remember religiously counting down the days of my pregnancy waiting with sheer excitement to meet my boy... now I just wish time would stand still. Every moment is so previous and must be remembered as they just go so fast. 

I don't know if it is just me, but over the last few weeks I can't help but get choked up when I see a newborn baby... I guess Harry just looks so big in comparison and I miss those early days. Having said that, we hung out with a two year old on Friday who made Harry look like a teeny tiny baby!!

My parents always tell me that they just don't know where the time went, one minute I was crawling around the lounge causing mischief and the next my Dad was giving me away on my wedding day. I always found comments like this overly sentimental and nonsensical (especially given my former status as someone with very little patience). Parenthood has changed me beyond recognition. Not only am I now a patient person, but I don't sweat the small stuff... arguments with friends are a thing of a past as my relationships have changed so much (old friends don't seem particularly interested in me anymore and new friends are all mummy's who think and feel exactly how I do) and life is about one thing and one thing only FAMILY. I live and breathe my family and love every second of it. I don't miss my before life, I don't crave me time... I just want to spend every second with my boys sucking in every possible memory.

Time really does fly and I am terrified I am going to miss something....